…Me too.
A few years prior to the release of the film “The Matrix”, my life came tumbling down. Not, I hasten to add, as dramatically, or as tortuously as some people’s. In fact, in retrospect, it was really rather trivial, but it was enough to make me question my beliefs and my whole philosophy on life.
Until that point, I had, what most people would accept as, “a normal life”: a long term relationship; a well paid job; my own property; a good bunch of friends… I was doing “alright”.
There are some people, that brush themselves off after such an incident. They get up and carry on. There are others that disappear into a self-loathing wallow, from which they never re-emerge. Then there are one or two, like myself, that stop and ask the question… “Why?”
I couldn’t understand it. I wasn’t a bad person. I certainly had no desire to do anyone ill, and was always willing to overlook discrepancies in my sense of fairness in order to keep the peace. Yet, I found myself being dumped upon, emotionally, financially and socially. The thing that really annoyed me was that…
I was playing the game according to the rules, but it wasn’t working!
So, I stopped playing. The rules I had been taught were obviously wrong and I was no longer prepared to go on until I understood those rules fully.
I started asking questions. The sorts of questions that we all learn not to ask. To question reality itself.
My journey lead me into the realms of spirituality, magick, the esoteric and the dark corners of the conspiracy theorist. Into the fantastical worlds of UFO spotters, crop circles, ancient astronauts and hi-tech civilisations, auras, chakras and mysticism. I sought within these subjects, the truth. The missing pieces to the puzzle of life.
This is the point where everyone either brands you as either: